Things have come to a pretty pass
Our romance is growing flat
For you like this and the other
while I go for this and that
Goodness knows what the end will be
Oh, I don't know where I'm at
It looks as if we two will never be one
Something must be done

You say either and I say either
You say neither and I say neither
Either, either, neither, neither
Let's call the whole thing off

You like potato and I like potahto
You like tomato and I like tomahto
Potato, potahto, tomato, tomahto
Let's call the whole thing off

But oh, if we call the whole thing off then we must part
And oh, if we ever part, then that might break my heart

So if you like pyjamas and I like pyjahmas
I'll wear pyjamas and give up pyajahmas
For we know we need each other
So we better call the calling off off
Let's call the whole thing off

You say laughter and I say laughter
You say after and I say after
Laughter, laughter , after, after
Let's call the whole thing off

You like vanilla and I like vanella
You saspiralla, and I saspirella
Vanilla, vanella, oh chocolate, strawberry
Let's call the whole thing off

But oh, if we call the whole thing off then we must part
And oh, if we ever part, then that might break my heart

So if you go for oysters and I go for ersters
I'll order oysters and cancel the ersters
For we know we need each other
So we better call the calling off off
Let's call the whole thing off

You say either - and you say either
You say neither - and you say neither
Either, either, neither, neither
Let's call the whole thing off

You like potato - and you like potahto
You like tomato - and you like tomahto
Potato, potahto, tomato, tomahto
Let's call the whole thing off

But oh, if we call the whole thing off then we must part
And oh, if we ever part, then that might break my heart

So if you like pyjamas - I like pyjahmas
I'll wear pyjamas - you've got pyajahmas
For we know we need each other
So we better call the calling off off
Let's call the whole thing off
Let's call the whole thing off